


i've never been more in love

by orphan_account



Category: ITZY (Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23728699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Yeji had never meant to fall for the sobbing girl she met at the bus stop on a rainy Friday, but the universe will do what it wants.And, well, even when it could hurt her,she's never been more in love.
Relationships: Hwang Yeji/Shin Ryujin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 83





	1. promise me something

**Author's Note:**

> hng,,, before the story starts i just want to thank twitter user haorangdan for being so supportive of the shit i do lol
> 
> also, here's the link to the playlist i listened to whilst i wrote this  
> ⇥ https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0xCFmS8XOwOVFCYwvk7Wdw?si=mLDmMFlRQlO_cgD08jm7Fg

To Yeji, Ryujin had never really meant much. She was always quiet and reserved, which made her not want to pry in on her life at all. But when she sees Ryujin crying her eyes out at a bus stop, all that changes.

It was on a Friday, the twenty-fourth of December, that the universe decided to put them in each other's paths.

Seoul was inevitably busy no matter what day it was. The sound of drivers screaming at each other and honking their horns repeatedly as the rain poured heavily was nothing new. But as she walked towards her favorite coffee shop to get her dose of midnight caffeine, she realized that there was one thing new about that day.

It was Ryujin.

She sat there on the bench of the bus stop, her eyes sore. She didn't look like she was waiting for a bus, either.

_ Why are you here, Shin Ryujin? _

Her clothes were soaked by the rain that showed no signs of stopping. Opposing her better judgement, she walked towards the younger. One step after another, heartbeat after heartbeat.

"Ryujin?"

Ryujin quickly moved her head to face where the voice came from, her eyes widening as she saw who it was. "Yeji? What are you doing here?"

She smiled. "I was gonna go get some coffee like I always do. Do you mind if I asked you to come with me?"

"What?"

"It's on me, and if you want to, you can talk about what's bothering you."

Ryujin wasn't one to talk to people other than those she had known since diapers, but something about Yeji made her  _ want  _ to say yes—there was something about the cat-eyed Hwang who stood beside the bench she sat on that made her vulnerable.

"Alright." She stood up from her seat, putting her hands in the pocket of her jeans.

Yeji opened the door for her, smiling, and she could have sworn that she felt her heart skip a beat right at that moment. But, why? All she did was hold the door open. Why would she feel this way over an action so simple?

Shaking her head, and the thoughts away, she finds a table for two right by the window and sits there.

"Black coffee, right?"

She hummed in response.

* * *

It's Saturday, the fifteenth of February, but Ryujin could have sworn that that Friday had just happened. Yeji this, Yeji that. Yeji was all she could think of. The way her cat eyes formed little crescents when she smiled, the way her voice was so soothing that she swears that every time she hears the older say her name, she melts. But what got her feeling so unnerved was how Yeji could tear her walls down with a single smile—the way she made everything feel so easy, and the way she made Ryujin feel so light.

It's….uncanny.

She groans as she sits up on her bed, getting annoyed by how her phone vibrated non-stop. But that feeling soon dissipates as she unlocks it and sees the chain of messages that Yeji had sent her, and is replaced with a feeling of warmth.

As much as Ryujin hated to admit it, Yeji was the first person to make her feel this way in ten years. The idea of falling in love scared her, and it still does, but Yeji had this power to make her feel like love wasn't so scary after all.

Well, maybe it is a tad bit scary. But that's only because Yeji was her best friend, and the fact that she'd caught feelings for her own best friend already scared her enough. Actually, no. It's terrifying. The thought that she could ruin everything they already have just by being honest with her and admitting her feelings terrified her. But, she loved being in love with Yeji. Being in love with her felt so natural. The moment she'd come to the realization that she felt something for the girl, she wasn't surprised at all. Yeah, it was kind of shocking at one point—to think you've fallen for your best friend. As cliché as it seems, it's shocking at first. But once she'd thought about it all, who wouldn't? Who wouldn't call in love for Hwang Yeji? The girl who can dance, sing, and even rap; the girl who hugs you and kisses your forehead when you feel down; the girl who can make you feel loved so easily; the girl who doesn't push you to open up, but will have you telling her everything at the end of the day. The Hwang Yeji—with her cat eyes and beautiful smile—who wouldn't call for her?

It's Saturday, and Yeji 'asked her out'. A loser in love, she likes to call herself.  _ But only for Yeji _ . The moment she read that text, she might have just screamed in excitement right on the spot. She held herself back, of course. She tried not to call it an actual date, though. The two had been best friends for months now, and this was close to becoming routine. 

It's seven in the morning. She has two hours to get ready.

By impulse, she calls Yuna to ask for help with what to wear. The other Shin, however, declines the call and texts Ryujin instead, telling her to just be herself, and not disturb her while she's on a date.

A date this early? Forget it, Yuna is the real loser in love here.

* * *

She has thirty minutes left to get ready, and she can already feel her heart jumping out of her chest. She chose nothing but a pair of black, baggy pants, an oversized white graphic tee that she tucked in, and a pair of black boots.

She doesn't look  _ perfect _ , per sé, but she looks so undeniably her. She looks so  _ Ryujin _ , and that's enough to make her feel reassured.

She breathes. Fifteen minutes left.

She's ready.

Ecstatic, she rushes outside, despite the fact that she still has more than ten minutes left until Yeji comes to get her. Today was different. She's still used to having herself being the one to pick Yeji up and drive her, but she couldn't help but smile at the sudden change.

Her phone vibrates. A text from Yeji.

_ You ready? I'll be there in five. _

Her heart feels warm. She doesn't know how or why this feeling comes to her, but she's glad that it does.

_ Ryujin just might love Yeji. _

Five minutes pass, and Yeji's there, looking breathtakingly beautiful with her hair tied up into a bun as the oversized thrasher tee she wore hung loose, just an inch above her knees.

Ryujin melts. Figuratively, of course. Though it feels as if she really  _ is  _ melting at the sight of the cat-eyed woman.

"Hey." Yeji's voice is calm but excited. She beams as she greets Ryujin with that same hug that made her feel so...warm. That same warmth that makes you slowly realize that maybe, just maybe, you're in love with the person right in front of you. Ryujin's heart skips a beat.

Their friendship was intimate. No secrets—except for the fact that Ryujin was in love with her, of course. 

"Let's go?" Yeji says.

"Yeah." Ryujin can only beam to express her love—no, fondness for the girl.

* * *

Everything is just so easy with Yeji.  _ Too  _ easy. It feels suspicious, but it's an amazing feeling nonetheless. Yeji had never pushed her to open up, yet she did. Not because she felt obligated to do so, but because she felt comfortable with her—because she trusts her. Yeji isn't the type to make her open up against her own will, but she always,  _ always  _ manages to have Ryujin tell her every single thing, down to the last detail, by the end of the day.

It's far too simple.

It's terrifying to think about, but it's comforting—how Yeji has this power over her; the way she  _ could  _ make Ryujin do whatever she wanted her to.

"Jinnie," Yeji called.

"Yeah?"

"You're spacing out."

"Oh." Ryujin says it too quickly out of surprise. "Sorry, I just-"

"Shush. It's alright." Yeji cuts her off, giving her that warm and comforting smile she gives her when she feels anxious. Ryujin swears she physically felt her heart skip a beat. Maybe even two. "Just get in the car."

"Where are we going?"

"That's a secret." Yeji replied nonchalantly

"Come on!" Ryujin whines, earning a laugh from the elder. "You text me at seven in the morning, telling me that we're going out. That's like three hours earlier than I'm used to waking up at! You could at least give me a clue!"

"Nope."

"I hate you."

"No, you don't"

"I don't"

* * *

"Jin," Yeji called, patting the girl's left arm softly to wake her up. "We're here."

Ryujin had fallen asleep during the ride. Wherever they were going, it was clear that it wasn't just a ten minute drive as soon as Yeji told her to get comfy. Not that she minded, though. She needed more sleep, and besides, she's with Yeji, and that already makes it a million times better.

Ryujin's eyes flutter open, and what she sees outside the window on her right makes her lose track of all her emotions. She quickly opened the door and ran out of the car. Outside was nothing but a field of the greenest grass Ryujin has ever seen. If you walked about a fifty meters north, you could see the entire city down below. The place was beautiful. Tall trees enveloped the plain grass in front of her. It was quiet, too. The nice kind of quiet. The kind of quiet that you won't want to ruin.

"Yeji," Ryujin called.

"Yeah?" Yeji said from behind Ryujin, running towards her to wrap her arms around the younger.

Ryujin lets out a breath, resting her head on Yeji's left shoulder. "God, you're so- you're wonderful."

She feels Yeji smile against her hair. "I'm glad you think so."

"I know so." She knows so. She knows that Yeji is a wonderful person. God, maybe even perfect, but she'd never have the guts to tell her that. Not when she might get a hint of how Ryujin feels for her; not when it could ruin their friendship.

-

Ryujin doesn't know when it happened, but suddenly it was already two in the afternoon and they were laying down on the grass. It was silent, but none of them wanted to break it. The silence was calming, it gave them a sense of safety, and maybe that's all they've wanted all along—to be alone together, without any worries; without the weight of the world on their shoulders. Maybe this was all they've  _ needed  _ all along.

"Hey, Ryu?"

Ryujin shifts to face the older girl. Smiling, she replies, "yeah?"

"Promise me something."

Ryujin looks at her with soft eyes. She really  _ would  _ do anything for this girl, and that's not an exaggeration. Hell, if she asked her to spend the rest of her life together with her she'd agree without hesitation. As she looked at Yeji, who was looking straight up at the sky, she saw the sun's reflection beaming within her dark brown pupils. As her eyes linger on Yeji's seemingly perfect face, she thinks of what life would have been like if she'd never talked to her that night when she was crying her eyes out at the bus stop because of her father's alcoholic ass. Maybe she'd never even know that love existed. Maybe she'd be wasting all her time somewhere at a library, her parents' numbers blocked because she refused to get hurt again. It was because of Yeji that they'd finally gotten a divorce. If Yeji had never stood up for her, she'd still be in a living hell by now.

To Yeji, she feels as if she was in debt.

"Whatever it is, I'll probably agree anyway."

Yeji laughs, and it's still the most beautiful thing Ryujin's ever heard her entire life.

"Promise me that even in ten, twenty, thirty, even a million years—even when the weight of the world comes crashing down on us, promise me that you'll never leave my side." Yeji says, and as the words slowly slipped through her lips, Ryujin felt  _ something _ . She couldn't place a finger on what it was, but she felt it. It was there.

She didn't even need to think about this. The answer was too obvious. 

She raises her little finger, telling Yeji to wrap her pinky around hers. Yeji chuckles, "you're really that type of person, huh?"

"Shut up." Ryujin pouts. Hah, wildcard. "Do it please."

Yeji could never say no to her. 

"Alright." Her pinky wraps around Ryujin's, and it fits perfectly—if having your pinkies fit perfectly is even a thing. "Pinky promise."

Ryujin knows this wasn't just something Yeji said to make the atmosphere more memorable or something like that. Ryujin knows that Yeji means what she said. She knows that Yeji only ever says something like this if she really means it. And that made this mean so much more than it already did.

* * *

Ryujin was still stuck with her head in the clouds when they got home, and the fact that Yeji had chosen to stay with her and sleep over didn't help at all. She was stuck inside her own head, thinking about, well, everything—her feelings, if Yeji felt the same, if she was stupid to actually fall for her best friend, basically everything that could cause her a mental breakdown over her feelings for a single girl.

"Hey, Jinnie?" 

"Yeah?" Ryujin wasn't sure when they ended up in each other's arms under the warmth of her blanket, but here they were now. Yeji's hand grazed over Ryujin's and Ryujin swears that she'd risk anything to hold her hand. However, she won't be having to risk anything today, because Yeji's hand moved back to Ryujin's, intertwining their fingers.

"Can't sleep." Yeji's voice was muffled. Her face was pressed against Ryujin's back, and Ryujin shivered as she felt Yeji's breath on her. "Can we watch Netflix?"

Ryujin chuckles. "Alright, alright. Stay here, I'll be back."


	2. safe in your arms

_ "Stay here,"  _ those two words lingered in Yeji's mind.

It's not like she'd even dare to leave her, anyway. She'd never leave Ryujin. Not because she was too nice to break her best friend's heart; not because she'd break the promise she made. It's because leaving her would break her own heart, too. 

Yeji had never expected Ryujin to become such a big part of her life, nor did she expect to fall for her along the way. But hey, the universe does what it wants.

Then, just as she was about to drown in her thoughts, the door opens, revealing a smiling Ryujin with a laptop in her hands. God, she'd do anything to see her smile like that everyday. Call it cliché or gross, but every single time Yeji sees her smile, with her eyes forming crescents and her whisker dimples showing, she feels this beautiful feeling inside her—a feeling that makes her want to protect Ryujin for as long as she can live.

"So, what are we watching?"

Although she was the one who suggested this, Yeji had no idea what to watch. Should she just suggest a horror movie so she could have an excuse to cuddle Ryujin? No, she couldn't risk the idea of having a scared Ryujin. 

"You choose."

"Alright then," Ryujin smiles. "Ghibli marathon?"

"Oh hell yes."

* * *

In the middle of 'Castle in the Sky', Ryujin's hand slips into hers and she can't help but think about letting it all out at this very moment. She was tired of hiding it all. Right now, she didn't care if Ryujin didn't feel the same. (Okay, well, maybe she kind of does.) She wants her to know. She wants for Ryujin to know that if she ever even dares to leave for a second, her heart would break. She wants for Ryujin to know that she'd never meant to fall for her, but the universe did whatever the hell it wanted to and now she's here. She wants Ryujin to know that she hated prom because she wanted to feel Ryujin's lips on hers so fucking badly that day.

She wants Ryujin to know that she's in love with her and she hates herself for it because hell, who the fuck falls for their best friend and expects them to feel the same way?

"Yeddong," Ryujin calls, pouting.

"Yeah?" Yeji looks at her with eyes so soft that she looked like she was about to cry. In Ryujin's eyes Yeji saw the reflection of the moon in it's beautiful state, and Ryujin's eyes were glowing. 

She's never been more in love.

"Cut the anxious face." Ryujin laughs. "It's just- Thank you. For everything. You're the one who was confident enough to stand up for me and confront my parents, and you've always,  _ always _ been there no matter what. Sometimes I feel like I'm in debt." When the words left her mouth, she let out a bitter laugh. That same laugh that she let out when she told Yeji about everything that was going on when she saw her sobbing at a fucking bus stop on a rainy day.

_ 'I do it because I love you' _ Yeji wants to say, but she doesn't.

"Jinnie," Yeji says, but it sounds more like a whine. "You're not in any debt. I do it because I care. You don't have to repay me for caring."

Ryujin wraps her arms around Yeji and they share the tightest hug they've ever shared in the two months that they've known each other. 

'Two months.' Yeji thinks. Who knew that that'd be enough time to fall for someone? But, maybe she'd been in love with her for far longer than that. She recalls the time when they were partnered up for Advanced Biology, and she ended up with Ryujin. That was back in October. Ryujin didn't really talk much that time, but she recalls thinking that she liked a lot about Ryujin. Like the way her nose would scrunch up when she smiled, and the way she would laugh at her jokes when even Yeji herself knew that it wasn't funny at all.

_ Fuck it. _

She's telling Ryujin. She thinks about the letter she'd written two weeks ago. She was conflicted that night. She'd re-written it too many times to count, but she ended up rambling in the letter no matter what. So, she gave up. She stopped caring if she was rambling. She was honest in the letter, and that's all that matters.

"Hey," She calls, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom for a while. Pause it for me, alright."

* * *

Yeji still doesn't know. As she stares at her reflection in the mirror, she asks herself what the right decision would be. Should she risk their friendship and tell Ryujin about how she feels? Or should she just wait until these feelings died down, her heart breaking in the process, but in the end they'd stay the same.

She hates it. She hates herself. She hates how she has to even think about this. Why is she even asking if she should tell Ryujin about how she feels?

_ Idiot, what are you even afraid of? If she really does care about you, she wouldn't let something like this get in the way of your friendship, right? _

_ Right? _

_ Damn it, Yeji. What happened to saying fuck it? _

Maybe, just maybe if she were brave enough. Maybe if she had the guts to just tell her. Then, she wouldn't be gripping the sides of the sink so tightly that her knuckles turned pale; then, she wouldn't be so close to crying over this again.

Maybe, just maybe if she could tell her.

"Yeji?" Ryujin shouts from her room.

"I'll be out in a minute, hold on." Yeji shouts back. She can't think about this any longer.

She's doing it.

* * *

"You took a while in there." Ryujin laughs.

"I was just thinking about something," Yeji wants to tell her that she was thinking about her, but no, not now. She's not saying that. No.

"Hm. Okay." Ryujin says, a hint of suspicion clear in her tone. Yeji was fucked.

Silence.

"So, let's continue the movie?"

"Yeah, sure." Ryujin says with a smile.

It didn't take long before they turned silent, enjoying the movie in front of them. They were only three movies in, and it was one in the morning.

Ryujin yawned as she put her head on Yeji's shoulder. 

"Are you sleepy already? We can finish it tomorrow." Yeji says, tucking the latter's hair behind her ear. Ryujin froze at the action. "I- sorry I'm-"

"No, no, it's fine."

"Shut up, you literally just yawned." Yeji doesn't really want Ryujin to go to sleep, though. She wants to stay here, with Ryujin in her arms as they binged Ghibli movies 'til the sun would rise. But, then again, she needed an excuse to leave the letter on the desk to Ryujin's side.

"Fine, fine. Good night, Yeddeong." Ryujin said with a small yawn.

"Good night, Ryuddaeng."


	3. and i've never been more in love

When Ryujin's eyes finally shot open to the bright light of the sun that peeked from the curtains, Yeji wasn't next to her anymore. She sat up, rubbing her eyes softly.

"Where the fuck is she?"

Her hand searched the bedside table to get her phone. Yeji couldn't have just left, right? She was too tired to shout her name, and besides, she didn't want to disturb her neighbors. 

Ryujin lived alone, now. Ever since her parents split, she decided on getting a house of her own. She'd been saving her money for months, and when she finally had the opportunity to put it to use, she didn't hesitate.

_ Right, Yeji. _

Instead of having her fingers land on her phone like it always does, it lands on something softer. Like a piece of paper. She turns her head to see what it is, and it's an envelope with her name written on it. Next to her name was a heart.

She opens the letter, not expecting much. Only wondering who it could've been from. Yeji was the closest possible person, but what if someone just asked her to give it to her? She didn't want to get her hopes up. Not when it would hurt her even more than her feelings did.

Deep breaths.

_ Ryujin, _

_ I know you're probably wondering why the hell someone would write you a letter when they can just say it to your face, but I'm scared as fuck, so here it goes. _

_ I'm really confused as to why I'm writing this right now, honestly. I can just say it in person, right? What am I so scared of? But then again, that'd be a big risk, so fuck it. _

"A risk?" Ryujin asks out loud. "What risk?"

Her eyes drift down to the bottom of the paper to see who the letter is from, and what she sees next leaves her speechless.

Nevertheless, she keeps reading. She'll let it all out once it's done. She wants to finish this. She  _ has  _ to. 

_ I think I love you. _

_ No, wait. Screw that 'I think' because I don't just think that I do. I know I do. I love you, and I fucking hate it. _

_ I hate it because every single time I think of you with somebody else, my heart just fucking breaks into pieces and I forget how to breathe; I hate it because everytime I see you, I want to tell you everything—how I was probably already in love with you from the moment we were partners in Advanced Bio. But I'd never say that, especially not in person, when it could hurt me even more when you tell me that you don't feel the same way. _

_ I fell in love with you back in October. _

_ When we were drowning in requirements and projects, and when you barely ever spoke. I never really knew what was on your mind back then, but the universe said fuck it and made me like you anyway. _

_ You were beautiful, and you still are. Every now and then, I found myself staring at you in class. My friends even teased me for it. 'Are you catching feelings for your bio partner?' they'd joke. I denied it back then, but when I think about it, maybe 'yes' was the right answer. _

_ I'm going to end up rambling here (I probably already am), but to hell with it. _

_ I love you. _

_ I love how your nose scrunches up and your cute little whisker dimples show when you smile. I love how you're so disgustingly cheesy. I love how you have a knack for watching cliché romance and Ghibli movies. I love how you can make me feel loved so, so easily. I love it when you smile so genuinely, because seeing you happy makes me feel so fucking giddy. _

_ And, well, maybe even just seeing you makes me happy. _

_ When I realized it all, I wanted to ignore you. Just so that these feelings would fade away and it would all go back to normal. But, I didn't. I didn't want to ignore you because that would make everything harder for the both of us. So I stayed.  _

_ I let my feelings grow bigger and bigger, and before I knew it, I was in deep. _

_ Though, to be perfectly honest, the thought of loving you scares me. _

_ What if my feelings ruin everything? What if you get a boyfriend or girlfriend and I have to watch you be happy with somebody else, knowing full well that I wasted my chance to tell you how I feel? _

_ It's scary, Ryujin. It really, really is. _

_ But if it breaks my heart to see you happy, then I'd break my heart a million times. _

_ You don't have to feel the same way, you really don't. I'm giving this letter to you knowing that my heart might break as soon as we talk about it, so I'm ready. (I'm not) _

_ Again, I love you. _

_ All my love, _

_ Yeji _

"All this time." Ryujin sighs. "All this time, you loved me back, but I was too afraid to tell you."

She laughs bitterly at how stupid she was for thinking that Yeji didn't feel the same way. Now that she'd thought about it, the girl treated her differently. She'd cooked for her, even when she didn't really know much about cooking; she fought for her in times when she could barely even stand; she treated her like she was family—like she was someone she'd never wanted to replace.

_ I have to tell her that I feel the same way. _

She scrambles out of her bed to get out of her room and find Yeji. Surprisingly enough, though, she didn't actually have to look for her at all.

As she got to the living room, she found Yeji comfortably sitting on the couch, watching Netflix.

"Ryujin," Yeji smiled. "You're up."

"I love you, too."

"What-"

Before she could finish her thought, Ryujin's hands were already cupping her cheeks. "I love you, too, you idiot."

Yeji looks at her, looking far more confused than she expected her to be. Before she could say anything, Ryujin captures her lips into a perfectly slow kiss.

It was everything all at once. It was the moment she'd been waiting for all her life. All the countless nights she had spent thinking about what kissing Hwang Yeji would be like. Now she knows the answer to that.

Yeji kisses her back. Her lips are soft against Ryujin's. Something about the sweet taste of Yeji's strawberry chapstick with the feeling of her soft, soft lips made her not want to let go. She wants to kiss her until she forgets how to breathe. She wants to have her lips on hers for as long as they could be there. She wanted this. She wanted her.

Yeji smiles into the kiss, and Ryujin swears that she physically felt the butterflies in her stomach. "I love you," Yeji says as she broke the kiss to get some air, and it's enough to make Ryujin kiss her a second time.

The second kiss was...more. The first one was full of emotions—mostly those that they've been keeping in for months. But this one, it was perfect.

Ryujin now knows that Yeji loves her back, and that's all it takes to make a tear fall from her eye out of happiness.

She loves Hwang Yeji, and Hwang Yeji loves her.

It's perfect. She's perfect.

She's never been more in love.


End file.
